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Good? Bad? Horrible? Really???

I always try to see the positive side of things; it’s a habit of mine. I always tell people that there is ‘A’ positive in every thing, even in the seemingly negative. Pick any event in life and I can argue that it was neither good nor bad, and that it has positive aspects. Some people get offended when I say this; I am not trying to offend you here, but if you are, please keep on reading and let me know if you still feel the same when you’re done.

I often tell people there is something to learn and a chance to grow in every life event even horrible events. Now I am getting the chance to live what I preach in more serious ways than I had expected to. What you might find weird is that I find myself excited about this opportunity, to live what I preach, to see how I will react, how well I will utilize this opportunity to improve my life and to hopefully be an example to the few of you who don’t agree with me.

The badness of bad things, the goodness of good things, and the goodness of bad things, your memories of them and your future, all, depend on your view (attitude and mind set).

In a previous post titled ‘I Could Have Died’ (click here to read it), I explained a recent health situation I had to deal with. I was diagnosed with a blood clot in the lung; things could have ended much worse than they did. I walked away from this alive and (lightly) kicking, with a lot of positive emotions.

I write this at the risk of shocking some, but the truth is I don’t think of this recent situation as a ‘bad’ event, because I know how lucky I was, I could have died and I didn’t, and that’s lucky. I am not labeling it as a ‘good’ event either, whether it is good or bad is something for history to judge based on the outcome, by how my present and future are shaped or changed. What this event really was, is an ‘opportunity’.

There were many elements that made up this event, some more positive than others, some were arguably negative. This does not make the health scare (i.e event) negative or bad.

See, when a person labels something as ‘bad’, so many ‘negative’ things (emotions, memories and future events) are bound to be influenced and changed.  Bad and good are nothing but labels that we apply to otherwise, well, label-free, not good nor bad, events.

This reminds me of what Jesus once said. In Matthew 7:16-17 He said “You will know them by their fruits.” Just as Jesus asked men to judge other men according to their fruits (actions and outcomes) I ask that you judge your events by their fruits.

One should not label an event, but rather judge their outcomes. Outcomes happen in the future; thus one must only judge an event in the future to have an honest judgment otherwise she would be predicting, not judging. As we all know, most predictions are self-fulfilling.

Labeling an event before waiting to see the outcome is pre-judging, it predetermines to a degree the outcome. Thus, if you judge an event as bad, you are actually making it produce bad outcomes.

Since I don’t want to pre-judge this event by labeling it, how then would I describe the event? Let’s look at the facts:

  • It was unforeseen.
  • It was concerning, sometimes scary.
  • It was challenging.
  • It was a serious medical event.
  • It was not as bad as it could have been.
  • It is inconvenient.

This event is what it is, I refuse to call it ‘bad’.

I am determined that there is so much goodness and positiveness in everything, including this event, that I just cannot see how I would call this event ‘bad’; I would be lying if I did. Further I would be predetermining the outcome as bad. Now that’s not fair is it?

I chose to label it as an ‘opportunity’.

Why not bad?

Here are some reasons why I cannot consider this a bad event:

1- The negative connotations will over shadow everything related to this event:

  • Labeling an event or memory as bad will mean I only remember the bad parts of such event / experience.
  • It will change my stress level.
  • It will change how I approach the solution and the future.
  • It will stress everybody involved unnecessarily, leading to a more chance of less-positive things to follow.
  • It will ignore the positive aspects of this event.
  • It will eliminate the opportunities for positive outcomes. It will predict the future as bad risking self-fulfilling.
  • If you follow the law of attraction, bad expectations lead to bad outcomes, positive ones lead to positive outcomes.
  • In general, it’s just bad being negative (to see things negatively)
  • Is not a fair label, nor an accurate one.

2- Given the situation, things went well since the event’s onset.

3- I can count so many blessings. I appreciate what I have.

I have a fully functioning body:

  • I can see
  • I can talk
  • I can smell
  • I can hear
  • I can eat
  • I can feel
  • I can breath (with pain but no permenant damage was done)
  • I can walk
  • I can think
  • I can sleep
  • I have all my limbs and organs
  • Should I keep going? you get the idea..

4- I did not need surgery

5- I do not have cancer: No chemo therapy or radiation therapy

6- I do not have heart disease

7- I can deal with it via drugs and diet and exercise, even though I dislike drugs, I am complying with the doctor’s treatment.

8- I have health insurance (they wont cover it all) But I will survive without having to declare bankruptcy (something many people have to do when getting sick)

9- I may have to be on medication for the rest of my life: This sounds negative I know, but review the list above again, what do you think now?

So many people live their entire lives without the above points. Luckily I don’t have to. Do you see why I see myself as lucky and this event as an ‘opportunity’?

What I had was life threatening, but I was lucky and now my pain is going down and we are dealing with the clotting via drugs. I feel fortunate the doctor was so professional and had good work ethics, the nurse was awesome, the bed was comfy, etc…

The above list could go on.. None of the above is a ‘bad’ thing; won’t you say?

It is up to me, up to you, whether you want to see things as good or bad. It is up to you to determine subsequent events or actions.

I know the event was filled with positives (The next article will show you exactly how). I also know that I can determine the outcomes of this event into as many positives as I want that would improve on my life as a whole.

What would be bad?

Had I failed to grasp this opportunity, had I surrendered to obstacles and negativity, then it would be fair to label the event as a ‘wasted opportunity’, and that is a terrible waste. It could also be worse, if you expect stress, more sickness, more anger, and more self pity you will get it, and now that is ‘BAD’.

But it’s up to you, you get what you want.

And the good outcomes cometh

I already have a (short but important) list of life-changes, spanning multiple dimensions of wellness, that I am working on now.

What a great feeling. :)

You can also do it.

I wrote this in hopes of helping you see that you don’t have to feel victimized or unfortunate, regardless whether you are in top health or not. I guarantee you, you can still count your blessings. The trick is to appreciate what you have.

There are positives in every bad event, if you are ready to see them.

Don’t pre-judge events, don’t label them just yet. You determine how much good (or bad) comes out of any event.

Mastering this method of approaching life can change your life.

If you are happy now, and most people are never happy about everything, but if you are the luckiest human on earth and are 100% satisfied, it still pays to learn this method of seeing positiveness everywhere (counting your blessings / privileges) and it pays to know how powerful a simple label can be.

Go in peace now,

Unless you want to leave a comment – you can leave it then go in peace :)

  1. April 14th, 2009 at 19:32 | #1

    You’re learnin’ ;)

  2. April 14th, 2009 at 20:38 | #2

    @Teresa Silverthorn
    Teresa, thanks nice seeing you again, thanks for reading.
    I take the phrase ‘live and learn’ to heart.

  3. April 15th, 2009 at 14:30 | #3

    Great post. New to your blog, but you got great writing style. Looking forward to more of your thoughts

  4. April 15th, 2009 at 14:48 | #4

    Joseph, thanks for stopping by :)

  1. April 16th, 2009 at 07:33 | #1